eve stanway - divorce and break up coach

Prioritising Presence Over Presents This Christmas

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Summary

Affluent neglect sounds like a harsh phrase, but it captures an important reality—especially during the festive season. As I recently explored in my Grazia article on this topic (read here), Christmas often brings to light where our emotional energy and presence are truly being directed, particularly when it comes to children. 

Mum and child wrapping presents together
Children are easily swept away by the wave of commercialism that accompanies Christmas. Their desire for objects—whether toys, gadgets, or the latest trends—can feel amplified, particularly if they are navigating changes in their family dynamic, such as a new sibling, separation, or the introduction of new partners. Expensive gifts can feel like tangible proof of love because they are visible, measurable, and easy to equate with attention and care.
 
However, as Jesse Jackson once said, “Your children need your presence more than your presents.” True love cannot be purchased. It is expressed in the form of care, attention, and shared moments. Love is in the time spent playing, listening, and simply being with one another. These connections are far more lasting and meaningful than even the most extravagant gift.
 
The Scarcity of Time
 
For parents and caregivers—particularly those navigating divorce, separation, or complex family arrangements—time can feel like the scarcest commodity of all. The demands of the season, from planning to juggling commitments, can make it tempting to replace meaningful time with costly gifts. Yet, this often leads to frustration, disappointment, and disconnection.
 
Reframing your approach to Christmas, starting now, can help you avoid these traps and create a more meaningful experience. Prioritising presence over presents is a way to reduce stress and foster deeper connections with those you love.
 
Time Versus Costly Gifts
 
The most valuable gift you can offer your loved ones is your time. Here are some ideas for creating connection this Christmas:
 
  • Play Together: Sit down with your child and engage in their favourite game, whether it is a board game, a video game, or even something on their phone.
  • Watch Together: Share a film, TV show, or TikTok videos that they enjoy. Joining their world can help them feel truly seen and valued.
  • Eat Together: Take a loved one out for a meal or coffee, or cook and share a meal at home. These moments create lasting memories.
  • Be Present: Sometimes, simply listening with your full attention is the most meaningful gift you can give.
Making the Shift
 
When we prioritise time and presence over material gifts, we create opportunities for connection that last far beyond the festive season. These shared experiences not only benefit children but also strengthen bonds with family and friends, leaving an emotional legacy that no material item can match.
 
If you are navigating complex family dynamics or feeling the weight of holiday expectations, I am here to help. Please feel free to book a call or explore the resources on my website for ideas and support.
 
You can also read my recent article in Grazia on affluent neglect (available here), where I delve deeper into this topic. I welcome your comments and reflections—feel free to share your own ideas and experiences.
 
Wishing you a calm, connected, and meaningful Christmas season.
 

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eve stanway - divorce and break up coach

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If you find yourself facing similar challenges in your divorce, consider how a strategic approach and the support of a divorce coach can pave the way to a more positive resolution. Schedule a free 20-minute discovery call to explore how we can assist you in navigating your divorce with confidence and clarity, ensuring your financial resources are preserved for building a hopeful future.

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