eve stanway - divorce and break up coach

Navigating with Heart: How One Father Found His Voice in Divorce

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Summary

Raymond sat across from me, his hands clenched together. He had always prided himself on doing the right thing—providing for his family, being a present father, standing by his commitments. His parents had remained together through all their ups and downs, and their marriage had been his blueprint for life. Divorce was something other families went through, not his.

 

Facing the painful reality that his marriage was ending, he felt paralysed by the thought of telling his children. Shame weighed heavily on him. He had not been able to save his marriage, and he did not know how to guide his children through something he had never experienced himself.

Avoiding the conversation felt like the easier option. His wife could handle it. Perhaps it would be less painful that way. The idea of sitting in that room, watching his children’s faces as their world shifted, filled him with dread. Yet deep down, he knew that stepping back was not the answer. If he left the conversation entirely to his wife, his absence would speak louder than any words he could have said. His children needed to hear from him.

That was when he reached out to me.

Raymond came to see me for a day of Conquer the Conversation coaching, feeling uncertain and overwhelmed. He worried that anything he said would only make things worse. Stumbling over his words or breaking down in front of his children felt unbearable. Saying the wrong thing seemed as dangerous as saying nothing at all.

Through our work together, we explored more than just the conversation itself. The fear and shame he carried had silenced him, and for the first time, he had the space to acknowledge it. His belief that he had no model to follow had left him feeling lost. His parents’ long marriage had been a source of pride, yet now that same legacy felt like an impossible standard.

Raymond needed a way to trust in himself and to discover his own strength to be the parent his children needed.

We worked on structuring the conversation, preparing for his children’s emotions, and navigating the difficult questions. He learned how to acknowledge his own feelings without making them his children’s burden. Security comes not from having all the answers, but from showing up, listening, and reassuring them that their parents’ separation does not mean they are losing their father.

By the end of our day together, something shifted in him. The conversation no longer felt like an impossible mountain to climb. He no longer saw himself as a man who had failed. He recognised that being a good father was not about avoiding pain, but about being there when it mattered most.

When the time came, he sat with his wife and children and spoke with honesty, clarity, and love. Emotion was there, but so was reassurance. His children felt safe in the midst of uncertainty because their father had chosen to be present.

Raymond’s experience was one of the many that inspired me to create my upcoming course, Navigating with Heart: How to Talk to Our Children About Separation and Divorce.

So many parents struggle with knowing what to say, fearing that they will get it wrong, or feeling overwhelmed by their own emotions.

This course is designed to guide them through those conversations with confidence, offering practical tools, emotional insight, and a way forward that keeps their relationship with their children strong.

The course launches on 10th April, and if you are facing a conversation like Raymond’s, I invite you to join the waitlist.

Contact me by email, send a text, or reach out through my social media DMs.

These conversations shape the future of your relationship with your children. Let’s make them count.

Testimonial

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eve stanway - divorce and break up coach

Take the next step

If you find yourself facing similar challenges in your divorce, consider how a strategic approach and the support of a divorce coach can pave the way to a more positive resolution. Schedule a free 20-minute discovery call to explore how we can assist you in navigating your divorce with confidence and clarity, ensuring your financial resources are preserved for building a hopeful future.

Please join my Facebook Group, Worry to Wisdom, where you will find tips and advice on how to support your children during separation and divorce. Alternatively, please follow my other social platforms for advice and support. 

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