Over the years, I have guided countless parents through these pivotal moments. The scripts below are not about getting it “perfect” – they are starting points. They offer safe, clear language you can adapt to your own voice, always delivered calmly and without rushing.

How to Use These Scripts

Each script comes with:

• Situation – when to use it

• Opening Line – to break the ice

• Main Message – clear, age-appropriate words

• Closing Line – to leave your child feeling safe and heard

Pause if emotions rise. Focus on connection over perfection. Children remember how you made them feel far more than they remember every word you said.

1. Telling a Child About Divorce

Situation: First conversation when separation is definite.

Opening Line:
“I want to talk with you about something important that is happening in our family.”

Main Message:
“Your mum/dad and I have decided that we are not going to live together anymore. This is an adult decision, and it is not because of anything you have done. We both love you and will always be your parents. You will still see both of us and we will make sure you are cared for, safe, and loved.”

Closing Line:
“You might have questions now or later. You can always ask me anything, even if you are feeling upset or angry.”

2. When a Child Blames Themselves

Situation: Your child believes the separation is their fault.

Opening Line:
“I want to be really clear about something important.”

Main Message:
“This is not your fault. Relationships between adults are complicated, and the things that mum/dad and I have decided are about us, not you. Nothing you said or did caused this. You are not responsible for fixing it either.”

Closing Line:
“It is my job to look after you and to take care of the grown-up things. Your job is to be a child, to play, to learn, and to know you are loved.”

3. Explaining a Co-Parenting Schedule Change

Situation: Plans have changed and your child feels disappointed.

Opening Line:
“I know you were looking forward to seeing Mum/Dad on [day], and the plans have changed.”

Main Message:
“Sometimes things come up that mean we have to change the plan, even though we do our best to keep things the same. I can see you feel disappointed, and that makes sense. I will make sure you still get your time with Mum/Dad, even if it is on a different day this week.”

Closing Line:
“It is okay to feel upset about changes. I am here if you want to talk about it or if you just want a hug.”

4. Responding to “I Want to Live with the Other Parent”

Situation: Your child makes this statement in the heat of the moment.

Opening Line:
“I hear you saying you want to live with Mum/Dad.”

Main Message:
“I know you might feel that way right now, especially if you are upset or something feels unfair. We will always listen to your feelings, but where you live is a decision that we as adults make to keep you safe, loved, and supported. We will work to make things as good as they can be for you here and with Mum/Dad.”

Closing Line:
“Your feelings matter to me, even when they are hard to hear. You can always tell me how you feel.”

5. When a Child Repeats Something Unkind About the Other Parent

Situation: Your child has heard a negative comment.

Opening Line:
“It sounds like you have heard something upsetting about Mum/Dad.”

Main Message:
“I know it can be confusing when you hear one parent say something unkind about the other. I do not want you to feel like you have to take sides. You can always talk to me if you hear something that worries you. My job is to make sure you are okay and to help you understand what is going on without putting you in the middle.”

Closing Line:
“You do not need to defend or criticise either of us. You can just be you, and both of us will always love you.”

6. Talking About a Parent’s New Partner

Situation: You are introducing the idea of a new relationship.

Opening Line:
“I want to tell you something before you hear it from someone else.”

Main Message:
“I have started spending time with someone I like, and I would like you to meet them one day. This does not change how much I love you or the time we spend together. I know it might feel strange at first, and you can share with me how you feel about it.”

Closing Line:
“This is a change, and it is okay to take time to get used to it. I am here for your questions or feelings.”

7. Modelling Healthy Conflict Resolution

Situation: Showing your child that grown-ups can manage disagreements respectfully.

Opening Line:
“I am going to talk with Mum/Dad about something important.”

Main Message:
“We might not agree at first, but we will try to talk calmly and listen to each other. Sometimes grown-ups need to work through things, and it is okay if it takes a bit of time. It is not your job to fix things, and we will keep you out of our disagreements.”

Closing Line:
“I want you to know that it is possible to have a disagreement without hurting each other.”

If You Need More Than a Script

These conversations do not just rely on the right words – they rely on you being emotionally steady, calm, and able to hold space for your child’s feelings without becoming overwhelmed yourself.

If you want to go deeper and learn how to manage every stage of a difficult conversation, my course Conversations at the Shoreline gives you the tools, strategies, and confidence to do just that.

For those who prefer a fully tailored approach, you can also book a one-to-one coaching session with me, where we will prepare for your conversations together and ensure you feel ready, supported, and clear.

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