eve stanway - divorce and break up coach

Harnessing the Power of Language to Transform Conversations

I help individuals and couples navigate the challenges of separation. Want to book a call? Please click below.

Book a Call

Summary

“The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.” – Ludwig Wittgenstein
 
The words we use can completely change the way we connect with others. If we’re not careful, our language can become reactive—fuelled by stress or frustration—and often leads to miscommunication. But when we become intentional about the way we speak, we can unlock the potential for deeper understanding, empathy, and real growth in our relationships.
A man with his head in his hands, a woman looking judignly at him and another woman looking sheepish.
One of the most useful shifts you can make is by mastering what I call the magic three: the difference between a complaint, a criticism, and an instruction. A complaint is when you focus on a specific action or behaviour that bothered you, keeping the issue clear without attacking the person. A criticism, however, takes aim at the person themselves, usually causing defensiveness and shutting down the conversation. Lastly, an instruction offers a positive direction, providing clear guidance or a solution for what could be done differently next time. Understanding and using these distinctions can make all the difference when dealing with conflict or frustration.
 
Another thing that often happens in conversation is that people are asked how they feel and instead of sharing emotions, they offer a string of conclusions or thoughts. This is especially true for those who have experienced anxiety or trauma, where the thinking brain takes over and the emotional brain goes quiet. By learning to reconnect with your emotions and express them clearly, you allow others to truly understand you and connect on a deeper level.
 
Changing the way we speak isn’t just about avoiding conflict—it’s about inviting others into a more meaningful dialogue. When we choose words that foster curiosity and understanding, we open the door to better relationships and emotional growth.
 
Key Learning Takeaways:
 
1. Understand the difference between complaint and criticism – Complaints target specific behaviours, while criticism targets the person. Aim to keep the focus on the issue at hand without making it personal.
 
2. Give clear instructions – Offer solutions or suggestions rather than just highlighting what went wrong, so the conversation leads to positive change.
  
3. Express your feelings, not just your thoughts – Try to communicate emotions rather than conclusions to foster deeper emotional connection and understanding in your relationships.

If you want to did a bit deeper, please reach out. Click on the link to book your discovery call and take the first step towards a brighter future.

https://calendly.com/eve-divorce-and-break-up-coach/20-minute-free-discovery-call

Testimonial

Siverra lectus mauris ultrices eros in. Eget egestas purus viverra accumsan in nisl nulla nisi scelerisque euvestibulum sed risus ultricies.

eve stanway - divorce and break up coach

Take the next step

If you find yourself facing similar challenges in your divorce, consider how a strategic approach and the support of a divorce coach can pave the way to a more positive resolution. Schedule a free 20-minute discovery call to explore how we can assist you in navigating your divorce with confidence and clarity, ensuring your financial resources are preserved for building a hopeful future.

Please join my Facebook Group, Worry to Wisdom, where you will find tips and advice on how to support your children during separation and divorce. Alternatively, please follow my other social platforms for advice and support. 

Facebook Linkedin Twitter Instagram Youtube
Book a Call